Why I disclose my mental illness at work.
On choosing to disclose my neurodivergence on job applications and in professional environments despite associated stigma.
I started my new job this week. So far, so good. The people are friendly and helpful; the office is casual. So casual that some of the execs walk around looking like they’re going to a pickup basketball game after work. I love it. After experiencing a toxic work environment, subsequent termination, and prolonged unemployment, I’m looking forward to a better experience, hopefully.
If you’ve filled out a job application in the last couple of years, you’d know that almost all of them now ask for your disability status up front, optionally, of course. I don’t remember this being the case when I first entered the workforce, and I was taken aback the first time I saw it, maybe because I now have a documented mental illness that impacts my daily functioning.
During both bouts of prolonged unemployment, I was cautioned NOT to disclose that I have bipolar disorder because of the stigma associated with mental illness, especially in the workplace. I know it was well-intentioned, but I didn’t listen to that advice. Each time I applied for a job, I selected “Yes, I have a documented disability” when it came to that section.
After living the majority of my life undiagnosed and masking, I no longer care to do that. Honestly, it’s actually much harder to do so. As I aged, and my mental health continued to decline, I was no longer able to mask as well. I would cry before, during, and after work. I’d stay up all hours of the night finishing work that my brain didn’t allow me to complete during working hours because it was too busy fighting itself. And the changes in my mood sometimes affected how I interacted with others— friendly and talkative one day, standoffish and mute the next. There were mornings I could barely hold myself together long enough to facilitate a client meeting. Days and weeks where anxiety, stress, and depression impacted my time management and ability to not wait until the last possible second to get something done.
It’s not easy being episodic, and being in crisis while on the clock or in the office adds another layer of difficulty. You have to worry about job security, how you’re perceived, and what consequences may result from whatever behavior you exhibit. Because I no longer care to mask and know there are so many others in my work environment who quietly share similar struggles, I decided that I will freely discuss my mental health status at work when appropriate.
In every room I’m in, especially professionally, I try to always be an advocate for mental well-being. For many people, the professional environments they find themselves in are often a significant contributor to the decline in mental well-being in the first place. If you have a traditional job, you spend most of your days on the clock or physically in an office. It takes a significant amount of precious energy, energy you probably already have a limited supply of, to mask, hide, and conceal every hour of the day.
Choosing to disclose my mental health at work opened doors for me. I am “high-functioning” and have consistently performed well professionally and academically for the majority of my life. I am fortunate in that it is not always apparent that I am someone who struggles mentally. Opening up and letting the people I work with and for know just how I’m struggling made room for opportunities to be cared for in ways I didn’t think I would be professionally. It has created room for accommodations, exceptions, and understandings, and I am given the benefit of the doubt when my performance slips. It also protects me legally should I be treated negatively due to my illness.
Disclosing my mental illness also made others more comfortable in sharing their struggles. I can’t count the many emails and instant messages I’ve received from coworkers and leaders sharing their own stories and expressing gratitude for my inspiration. That’s one of my missions: to make saying things like “I have bipolar disorder” just as normalized as saying “I am diabetic” or “I have allergies.” I want more people to have access to the necessary accommodations and benefits that increase their quality of life within the workplace.
Usually, I wait until after the interview process to disclose this information. I am not naïve and know that there are still some people who would hear “I have bipolar disorder” and immediately and quietly disqualify a candidate. However, during my first interview for my new job, I was asked to describe my greatest achievement, whether it was personal or professional. As much as I wanted to use that as an opportunity to flex something that wasn’t on my resume, I knew the most authentic answer was “staying alive,” and I explained why.
The interviewer was shocked but inspired by my answer, saying, “Wow, that was a great answer, and congratulations because that is no easy feat sometimes.“ At this stage in my life, if I can’t come into folks’ offices as my whole self, it’s not for me, so I had no reservations about my decision. I was eventually invited back for my final interviews, and well, now I’m here. And that hasn’t been the only time my opening up about my struggles opened a door for me in this role, so far.
Earlier this week, I casually mentioned in a group conversation that I have bipolar disorder. I don’t recall the context, but it was intentional, not just a moment of oversharing. After the discussion, a coworker pulled me aside to thank me for being so open, and she felt moved to share not only her experiences with me but also the ways our stories were similar. Her kids are in another state with their dad, just like Ava. And she said she’s worked out her schedule to work remotely in the state they are in once a month for a whole week. I ran this arrangement by my manager, and he approved without hesitation. I now get to spend more time with my baby and less time driving. This wouldn’t have been possible had I not casually mentioned being mentally ill, prompting my coworker to share.
I know it is not easy to talk about something that is still so highly stigmatized, and I surely did not become comfortable discussing my mental health overnight. But it has opened so many doors for access, accommodation, and empathy professionally that I would be remiss not to encourage you to do the same.
Currently.
Feeling — Amazing. Happy. Grateful. Thankful. Blessed. It’s been an incredibly great week, and I'm basking in these wonderful feelings.
Reading — “Love, Rita,” a memoir.
Listening — I just finished up “Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism,” a whistleblowing memoir from a former Facebook employee. It was SO good!
Anticipating — The next time I’ll see my Sweets.
Contemplating — All the ways and which I can now get my life together now that I am employed.
Affirming — Shit always works out for me in the end.
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This read like someone finally stopped holding their breath.
Not for pity. Not for performance. But for permission, their own.
You didn’t write a story. You walked us through a reclamation.
The way you claimed space for your mental health without apology? That’s not just brave, it’s strategy. It’s survival and design.
And that line “staying alive” as a professional achievement, I felt that in my spine.
You made space for someone else to come out of hiding, too. That’s impact with no mic needed.
Thank you for living it out loud.
Congrats on the new job!
I really enjoyed this read. Thank you for being so open and by doing so, encouraging others to do the same.