Reflections

1. How do I feel at this current moment in time?

   1. Grateful, loved, full, overwhelmed—gratitude has been the name of the game for a while for me. I would not be in the space that I am in, mentally and emotionally, without the abundance of love, care, and support that I have received and continue to receive. I’ve made it through another tough year, and I am excited for what’s to come in the next.

   2. Excited and relieved—I received a job offer yesterday after almost five months of unemployment.

2. What am I most grateful for from this past year of life?

   1. My community—I may sound like a broken record, but my village really holds me down. Whether I ask or not, they show up and meet my needs in so many areas of life.

   2. The opportunity to rebuild—I moved back home with my mother this year and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity and privilege to do so. Not many people have a home or parents to go back to, to offer solace while rebuilding.

   3. I surpassed 2,200 subscribers—When I started my Substack, I had no idea that I would organically grow as fast as I have and continue to do. I’ve been consistent with not only writing but enhancing my skills through continued learning.

   4. I’ve made significant progress on my book—I decided to scrap the original concept for my book and instead write a memoir in essays about the last five years of my life.

3. What am I most proud of?

   1. Relinquishing control—This is something that is so hard for me because I like control. I thrive off of it at times. But so many times this past year I had to relinquish control and trust that others and the universe would have my back. And they did.

   2. I got out more—The pandemic made me a low-key recluse. Getting out and about was/is hard because of how quickly I can become overstimulated by people and the outside world. But I said more yeses to hangouts and dates, and am continuously working on getting outside more again.

4. What new experiences have I had this past year?

   1. I got fired for the first time in my life and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me when it did. My leadership and job had become toxic and threatened my mental stability. I was fired before I could quit but it was such a blessing to be released from such a mindblowing situation.

   2. In May, I read an essay on mental health and motherhood at a storytelling event attended by about 120 people. I applied, sent in an audition video, and was selected as one of the ten storytellers.

   3. I totaled my first car. I bought my first car in 2020 when I found out I was pregnant and last year a damn wasp made me total it. That accident made my insurance go up a whole $100 a month and I was sick about it.

5. What major lessons have I learned?

   1. I can’t function in spaces with incompetent leadership. And that’s all I have to say about that, for now.

6. Am I proud of the person I am becoming?

   1. Absolutely. I am in AWE of the woman I am and I know I will only improve from here.

7. How am I currently celebrating a new year of life?

   1. Yesterday I flew into Arizona for a writing retreat where I am currently writing this. I’ve wanted to attend a writing retreat for years but so many are inaccessible due to location and cost and they aren’t always the most diverse. So I’m happy to be on the Root & Story retreat with twelve other Black women writers in various stages of their journeys.

8. What am I manifesting for this next year of life?

   1. An agent. Bonus points if the book deal comes this year too.

   2. Financial freedom. I can’t wait to be financially secure again. I’m hoping I can make great progress on that this year.

9. How will I show up for myself in this upcoming year?

   1. I WILL WRITE MY BOOK DAMMIT!

   2. I will continue to practice radical honesty with myself and others.

   3. I will move my body more.

10. What do I want to accomplish this year that I didn’t in the last?

    1. Finish my book.

Currently.

Feeling — All of the above.

Reading — “Love, Rita” a memoir.

Listening — The playlist for the R&S retreat so far. The mood music has been great.

Anticipating — Starting my new job.

Contemplating — My writing schedule.

Affirming — I am a force.

Similar to this.

Posts of mine with a similar vibe:

• Hello 32; Birthday reflections.

• What I want to be known for.

• Running away to home.

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